So here it is, the dawn of a new day is but a moment away and I can’t help the feelings that have started to creep up. It is now officially September 1st, which means tomorrow is September 2nd. My birthday. My fortieth birthday. The big 40. I am not excited, but for some reason I am apprehensive. Which is not like me. Age is truly just a number, right? I have never let age bother me before so why now, all of a sudden, does this birthday bug me? I do not have a bucket list like many others, but I do have certain things in my head that I would like to do or see before I take the long walk home. Which I guess is really like a bucket list, but mine is less list nd more chore chart type 🙂 So what is on said list? Let’s see;
-I have always wanted to travel to London, England. Ever since I missed going there for the 11th grade school trip. I had the trip paid for, ticket in hand and then I had to cancel. Due to illness, which could not be helped, but still, that cancelled trip stung like the worst kind of bee sting ever.
-This next one is a doozy and very unrealistic. I would love to become a DVC member. The Disney Vacation Club is Disney’s version of a time share, but so much better than that. You have access to a ton of locations to visit, all over the world, but the ultimate is the access to the amazing DVC properties right in Disney World itself. Oh to dream…..
-This next one is also Disney related (as are most ). I would love to spend a night in Cinderella’s Castle in Magic Kingdom. There is the most amazing suite there, but it is not open to just anyone. You can not book it and no amount of money will secure you a reservation. Only the best magic available in Disney World can get you in there. I would settle for a tour, but that is also a pipe dream to obtain.
-The Disney Moms Panel should probably have been number one. These are not in a particular order so I can stress that making it on the Disney Moms Panel would be my ultimate dream come true. I have entered the search for new panelists every year since it’s inception in 2008, but my potential has not been recognized. This is truly a heartbreaking experience for me. Last year was the worst. When I found out that I had not advanced to round two I was truly shocked. I had followed that sage old advice to live your dream and if you can dream it, you can do it and all those other insightful messages. This was gonna be my year. And then it wasn’t. I mourned the loss of the panel something fierce. What made it an even more bitter pill to swallow was what happened on November 11th 2010. This was the day they announced who had been chosen for the 2011 panel. My day started off early for a dental appointment. Since I work for a bank I was off that day because November 11th is Remembrance Day. To my huge surprise I spent most of the day fielding friend requests on Face Book and emails of congrats for making it to the 2011 Disney Moms Panel. From current panel members no less! Surely there must be some mistake, but how would all of these current panelists get MY name? Dumbfounded is a mild description of how I felt that day. I thought there had been some miracle and they really wanted me. It took a full day and change to find out that the current panelists said they saw my name on a list somewhere of those chosen. It still does not make sense to me. It did not take long to get confirmation that I really was not on the panel, but even though, deep down in my heart I knew I had not somehow made it, the pain was there again, all over. Like a new rejection. How could such a big mistake have been made? I still do not have the answer to that. The good thing to come out of all of that was that I now have about ten of the current panelists as friends on FB. Keeps me in the loop and gives me hope. The other thing that happened was that I had a chat, over the phone, with Laura Spencer, the Pink Princess herself. Laura is one of the Social Media Managers who runs the panel. She found out about my plight from her panelists and asked me to call her. She was kind in letting me down and gentle and at the same time managed to give me hope for the future panel searches. I have to hope that it all means something and that my place on the panel will happen soon.
So that concludes my list for now. Turning forty is not that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. There are those that think it is not even worth a big dinner out, so I will have to suppress my urge to scream on Friday morning when I wake up and realize, “holy moly, I just turned forty ‘!