Gifted Children Challenging Authority – A Parent’s Perspective!

Every mother dreams of giving birth to a ‘gifted child’. But what about after the birth? How do you deal with children who are way more intelligent than they are supposed to be for their age?

Their intellectual supremacy for their age compels them to challenge authority more than once, in more than one way on a daily basis. And many parents find this practice difficult to deal with.

Who is a ‘gifted child’? A gifted child is one who showcases superior intelligence, creativity, leadership abilities or excels at anything way beyond his age. A thirteen year-old winning an Olympic medal is a gifted child. A child with an IQ in excess of 160 is a gifted child. An architect who is just fourteen years old is a gifted child. So, yes, the word ‘gifted child’ has many interpretations. But, there are certain characteristics that stereotype them into being gifted. Some of these are:

• Self-disciplined and independent
• Can’t stand boredom
• Possess a lot of knowledge
• Can withstand peer pressure
• Require a supportive environment to grow
• Thrive on opportunities to share their talent with others
• Strong aesthetic values

These common characteristics share great insight into why these children constantly challenge authority. They value  independence; hence, resist control in the form of authority. They possess a lot of knowledge and therefore have a reasonable counter argument to every point. In the eyes of many people and parents especially, these counter-arguments are equivalent to challenging their authority. The fact that they thrive on opportunities to share their talent with others and their need for supportive environments to grow just piles the pressure onto the parents. You want them to grow, you want them to thrive in their field. And yet, you understand that their constant bid to challenge authority is a bad habit in the societal view of things and can get them into trouble in the long-run.

Your child may be a gifted child but you will not know it until ‘the day’. There will definitely come a day, relatively early on in his life, where he will do something that you did not expect out of him. That day, will be ‘the day’. That’s the day you, as a parent, will realize that you have given birth to a gifted child. And in all probability, that will be the very first day that he begins to challenge authority.

As a parent myself, I can understand the frustration that most other parents feel. A regular child will challenge authority just for kicks. But gifted children don’t do this for kicks. They challenge authority because they genuinely believe that they are in the right. And whether I like it or not, I must agree that many of the times they actually are right. Their arguments are most often centered on such strong, logical points that it’s hard to counter. A simple no, doesn’t mean so to them. Every answer must have a reasoning behind it. You cannot say, do this just because that’s the norm. You will be questioned.

Honestly, my child tests me more than I test him. Everyday I learn something new from him. And there’s nothing wrong with that. As a parent, when you are dealing with such gifted children you cannot let your ego tarnish your relationship with them. Your child isn’t cross-questioning you or interrogating you with his/her queries; he or she is just trying to satisfy their curiosity. At first, obviously as a parent and an elder it’s an unusual experience. You aren’t used to being questioned by those who are younger than you. The fact that your child is questioning you based on intellect is even harder to get used to. You just have to be patient. Just try to keep this one thing in your mind always. Your child is not trying to be difficult to deal with. Nor is the intention to actually ‘challenge your authority’ for that matter. The underlying objective of their so called challenge to authority is disguised in their quest to gain answers and thereby, knowledge.

The job of parents and teachers is very important to the development of the minds of these children. In order to grow; they need a supportive environment. Whether you encourage it or not; be prepared for cross-questioning. Gifted children never tire themselves out by thinking and hence, the constant questions. Try not to punish them severely for this. They may ask you for a reason for everything. ‘Why should I do this?’ ‘Why should I do that?’ Just answer to the best of your ability. If you really want to contribute to their growth, I would advise you to spare some time and begin reading books on topics that interest your child and towards which they show a particular interest. If you do so, you are becoming a more informed parent. Not only are you learning something valuable yourself but suddenly, you will find yourself in a better place to answer the questions that your kid may ask you. Doesn’t feel much like them ‘challenging authority’ when you have the answers, trust me! It’s a win-win situation.

The tricky bit when dealing with such gifted children challenging authority is controlling this when one is out of one’s home or when the child is interacting with somebody other than family. Gifted children don’t wear stamps on their head saying so. Therefore; when they challenge an outsiders authority it can create complications. As parents, again, it’s our role to monitor this and ensure that no harm comes to them.

Teachers in particular may find it very difficult to deal with them. Honestly, I can understand their situation. It’s not a nice feeling when you spend twenty years of your life studying one particular subject and then some child comes and challenges your knowledge. It can greatly damage their ego and again, understandably so. If you are a parent to a gifted child, I would advise you to inform the school about this before enrollment. Talk to the principal, talk to teachers and try to explain the situation. I am sure that they too, will understand and eventually get used to your child’s unnatural inquisitiveness and extensive knowledge base. As parents, it’s your duty to ensure that you enroll your child into a school that understands how he/she is different from the others and doesn’t condemn him/her for this difference.

There’s another very important thing that as parents, we have to look at while dealing with such gifted children. Sure, intellectually they may be geniuses at a very young age. They may know more than us already. They can talk and converse with adults as though it were completely normal. Yet, do not forget that they are still children. In terms of intellect, they may be mature and developed. However, they aren’t naturally that developed in the emotional side of things. Gifted children are often left emotionally immature even when they grow up. You should not allow this to happen to your child. Be with your child throughout and see to it that they fully develop. Lecture them if you have to about the importance of emotions. Try to convince of their importance. Use whatever technique that you have to but ensure that your child develops emotionally too.

Okay, being a parent to gifted children is challenging. I have already said so much about how they generally ask you stuff to satisfy their curiosity and all that. But at the end of the day, let’s not forget that they are kids. There are obviously going to be times wherein they ask questions just for the sake of it. When that’s the case treat them how you would treat a normal child. The difficult bit is identifying when they are serious and when they are kidding around. From practical experience, I will tell you that at least 80% of the time their questions will be serious and they will be awaiting serious, logical replies expecting to be treated like adults. But sometimes you may just be played. Honestly, that’s okay. Parents aren’t perfect.

Let’s end the article with the tough bit. In this entire article, I have said that ‘empathy’ is key. That’s the truth. You have to be empathetic. But you also have to be stern with them at times. There’s always the possibility that they will be one step ahead of you with their answers and reasoning and everything. At the end of the day, you are their parent. You have the authority to discipline them when need be.

Dealing with gifted children is at times challenging. You just have to be patient, empathetic, strict and sensitive; all at different times and at different intensities. Remember, we are the parents. It’s our job to nurture our children and bring them up the right way. In life, there may be ups and down but as parents our biggest consolation are our children. They lighten up the darkest of days and are the only people in the world who can bring a smile to one’s face without even trying to.

Author Bio

I am Cynthia Guajardo. I am a writer at custom essay writing service to provide essay writing help for the students. Blogging is my passion, interest for writing from childhood made me join this job after my studies.