Today I spent some time at a baby shower for a relative. It was a lovely afternoon complete with a light lunch and casual chit chat with people I do not see a lot of. The highlight of the day was the babies! Two sweet, adorable little boys. Now the shower was just for one of them. Benjamin was the guest of honor and he was asleep most of the time, but what a cutie pie. I have to say my uterus was doing serious somersaults all afternoon 🙂 Ben is just two months old and already a little heart breaker. He had the sweetest little chin and what a smile! Now I know he is too young to be seriously smiling at anyone, let alone a stranger, but just the sight of him had me rethinking decisions made awhile ago.
The other little man was Andrew and he is five months old. What a charmer! He never stopped smiling and had no problem going to all the ladies. He was eager to be held (what baby isn’t) and he seemed to love to cuddle with anyone. Andrew had that infectious laugh that all babies seem to have and he smelled so darn good! Oh my, it was a battle of wills for me!! And I can say this all knowing that I have the sweetest, most precious little boy waiting to cuddle with me right now.
The downside of all this is the sad reality that there will be no more babies for me. For the most part this is okay. I love my family and my two awesome kids. Just sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have one or two more kids. When I was younger, a lot younger, I used to think I would have eight children some day. Not sure where I got that number from, but eight it was. Maybe that old TV show had some influence on the number, but that was as far as it goes. I even had the names and sex of those erstwhile eight all lined up. They were all going to be sets of twins ( I never let reality wreck my day). The first two were to be Christopher Thomas and Victoria Elizabeth. Having only had an older sister I always wanted an older brother and at the time my favorite celebrity was the C Thomas Howell 🙂 Dreaming was he…
Next on the baby train were twin brothers Alexander James and Robert William ( William has stayed the course resurrecting itself with my sweet squampy pomper). Then came the twin girlies, Alexandra May (not very original I know and having two Alexs would have been terribly confusing, but alas I loved the name!) and Jocelyn Marie. I have a cousin Jocelyn and I have always loved her name.
The final set of twins were to have been a girl, Emily Rose and her twin Nicolas. I can’t, for the life of me, remember what Nicolas’ middle name was. I had it all written down and for the longest time I could recall it. But I guess not remembering is destiny’s way of saying enough is enough. Emily Theresa and William Redett are the loves of my life now and forever. They are my legacy and my life. Thank God for that 🙂 Still, it was nice to hold those two today. I think I had better go get me a baby hug before I burst into tears!!
FT&PD
Suz
Loved your little read their Suzanne. I know how you feel, thta is about having had more babies. I think we, women, maybe all go down that road every once in awhile. No harm done. Glad to hear that you had a nice afternoon.
Love ya
Hugs from Mom
Thanks Mom, love you to!!
Hi Suzanne!
This entry brought tears to my eyes. As a mom of twins, I often feel this way. But then I think what if I had another set of twins…just like you dreamed of! We are so blessed to have our children though. 🙂
Hey Nicole, this is so much fun! I am glad we found each other 🙂 God bless the DIS boards!!
The whole baby thing is a tough one to get over, whether you have one or a lot more. Most days I am content with our little family, but once in awhile I feel that tug on my heartstrings…I just have to remember to count my blessings because you are right. We are extremely blessed.
I know what you are talking about with, that tug of wanting motherhood because I was not able to have kids and to this day it still breaks my heart. For me it’s a feeling of loss but I have a lot of nieces and nephews to help fill in the hole.