A boy and his big sis ♥♥
A short while ago I read this amazing blog post called “Rants of a Food Allergy Mom” and it was posted here on the Mom vs Food Allergy blog. It had me in tears. Yes, it was that good, but not everyone will feel the same way about it that I did. You see the author, Rachel, shares her feelings about dealing with her son’s food allergies. Her situation is very much the same as ours for my handsome little man, William, also has food allergies. William is four years old and just a bundle of energy! He is go, go, go all day long and for all accounts he does not look “sick.” And I guess he isn’t really, but he does have a life threatening disease that could explode at any time. This scares the heck out of me.
Rachel’s post spoke of being jealous. Jealous of seeing other kids attend birthday parties and eat the cake, hot dogs and pizza without fear, while her son had to make due with his homemade cake. Does it sound petty to you? Maybe, but not to me. The first time I took William to a birthday party where he had to eat a rice krispie square because the cake had eggs and nuts in it was not too bad. He actually did not seem to mind, but then again he was not even three yet. The most recent party was much harder. Even though I had a little container of the cupcakes Daddy made for William, he still wanted the cool looking Spider-man cake everyone else had. He even cried when I had to tell him no. Me, well it broke my heart, but in the end he was okay. So, no big deal, right?
Rachel talks about being jealous seeing other kids freely pick their favorite ice cream treat out at the local ice cream parlor. I know what she means. It was always a special treat when my dad would take my mom, sister and I over to Murphy’s in Streetsville for their amazing shakes and delicious ice cream cones. It evokes such happy memories for me. I know that memories can be made in many ways, in many places and it is not the end of the word, but trips to the local Dairy Queen are not a part of William’s summer. I recall once, when he was just little, maybe two, we went to the DQ in Wasaga Beach. It was a hot, beautiful sunny day and everyone wanted ice cream. I thought nothing of it until we were in line and I saw the warning about food allergens. I felt like an awful mama that day. How could I possibly eat this ice cream in front of my little man when he could not have any? Dairy Queen did not even have a pre-packaged fruit pop he could enjoy.
Then there is this fall. September 2013 is when William will start going to school and not just the half day I grew up with. William will be attending Kindergarten all day. This really should be an exciting time for him and for the most part, it is. He does not comprehend what lies ahead, but I do. William will have to eat his lunch and snacks in the same room as everyone else. Thankfully the school has a no nut policy, but my older daughter Emily says it is often overlooked. I mean we all know that Tim Horton’s timbits could contain any number of allergens so why bring a box of 40 to school to celebrate your child’s birthday? Really? According to my roving reporter Emily the child with the food allergy gets nothing or just eats the snack they already had. Not the end of the world, but how would you feel if you could not participate in your school chum’s celebration?
I am also worried about school because of the medication William needs to have near by at all times. I am not talking about somewhere in the school. He needs it near him if not on him. An anaphylaxtic reaction happens quickly and every second counts. Running to the office is not an option. So, I have been looking into things William can use to wear his meds. And it is not just an Epi pen that he needs to have, he needs a puffer as well. William, like many food allergy sufferers, has severe asthma. There are a few choices on ways to wear your meds, but all of them seem way too cumbersome for a little boy. I am sure he will get use to it. I know he will, but I am worried about it getting knocked off of him, being taken by a child who does not understand what it is for or just plain left behind when he uses the bathroom. School is filled with enough challenges without having to worry about that.
So, yes I am jealous and I worry. A lot. I think I am pretty good at keeping it to myself so as not to stress William out. He will have enough to deal with. I know that in time it will get better and that William will be able to handle this challenge life has given him. But, I am not there yet. I am not at that place where I can say, “well, at least he is not blind or deaf or missing a limb.” I am not there yet. I know that William will live to be a strong and healthy man, to get married and have children, a rewarding career. I pray for that for him and for Emily too. But to say that he has no worries, his allergies are no big deal? No, I am not there yet. With the grace of God, someday I will…
FT&PD
Suz
What a cutie! And as for the meds, how about a Batman Utility Belt?
But yes, ti totally stinks and is very frustrating to not be able to simply “grab a bite to eat” or have a piece of that cake… and I’m talking about me! Can’t imagine it as a child or the mother of a child! There are days I am sorely tempted to have a slice of pizza even knowing the price I’ll pay. Good luck!
I think he would love the Batman idea Jud!! Good call, although his “thing” right now is Super Mario, LOL. But you make a valid point. Anything to make it more fun for him is a good idea. All of the things I have come across are pretty generic, but maybe I will have to spice it up. Maybe let him pick out some material and make something myself…
Thanks Jud! Suz
As a mom of a kid with a food allergy that gets overlooked… the schools cater to the but allergies and ignore fish & shellfish allergies…. it is a fear that never goes away… my son is now 16, and is leaving to fly by himself to Australia tomorrow for 3 weeks to visit his step brother at Hillsong. The fear of eating something that contains anchovy oil, oyster oil, fish oil or was fried with fish and served to my son, never goes away, but I have taught him to always ask. He knows no kissing girls because you don’t know what she has eaten. Wash your hands, OFTEN…. It gets better as they get older, but going through elementary and jr high was NERVE racking. No peanut butter gets into the school, but come Easter time and fish sticks is served EVER FRIGGEN Friday!!!!!!!!! – Spaghetti Tuesday, secret ingredient? Worcestershire Sauce, it contains Anchovy oil…. Oh and Asian Bar Thursday…. Oyster Sauce…. At least Nut allergies get some respect and help at the schools…. When a kid brings a tuna sandwich for lunch, no one watched out for son…. no note went home asking parents not to send certain foods…. I think if you are a food allergy mom then it is your responsible to educate those who guard our children on ALL the allergies and protect ALL the children…. Sorry this is near and dear to my heart, after YEARS of fighting for my son
Please never apologize Aunesty. If we are not our children’s loudest supports, who will be? It sounds like the things you and your son went through were extremely upsetting and challenging and to let him go away, especially so far away, well, I can just imagine how hard it is for you. I guess you just need to trust that he has picked up all the good habits and behaviors you have instilled in him and trust that he will be okay. But, I can see how hard it would be. We rarely leave William with anyone other then his daycare provider. Very recently my parents watched him for an entire day so my husband and I could attend, of all things, a Food Allergy Awareness conference, LOL. I suppose it gets easier with time, but never apologize. And yes, it is such a shame that certain allergies get more “press” then others, but when they can have the same reaction ( anaphylaxis ) well, something needs to be done. I was shocked to learn at the conference that a person could have an anaphylactic reaction to wheat as well! That surprised me
I am hoping to make some suggestions to my son’s school and have already talked to the current Principal. I will continue to pray for my boy and yours. Special prayer for your son as he heads off for his trip and for you as well and your peace of mind ♥
Thank you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate it, Suz
As a mom of a kid with a food allergy that gets overlooked… the schools cater to the but allergies and ignore fish & shellfish allergies…. it is a fear that never goes away… my son is now 16, and is leaving to fly by himself to Australia tomorrow for 3 weeks to visit his step brother at Hillsong. The fear of eating something that contains anchovy oil, oyster oil, fish oil or was fried with fish and served to my son, never goes away, but I have taught him to always ask. He knows no kissing girls because you don’t know what she has eaten. Wash your hands, OFTEN…. It gets better as they get older, but going through elementary and jr high was NERVE racking. No peanut butter gets into the school, but come Easter time and fish sticks is served EVER FRIGGEN Friday!!!!!!!!! – Spaghetti Tuesday, secret ingredient? Worcestershire Sauce, it contains Anchovy oil…. Oh and Asian Bar Thursday…. Oyster Sauce…. At least Nut allergies get some respect and help at the schools…. When a kid brings a tuna sandwich for lunch, no one watched out for son…. no note went home asking parents not to send certain foods…. I think if you are a food allergy mom then it is your responsible to educate those who guard our children on ALL the allergies and protect ALL the children…. Sorry this is near and dear to my heart, after YEARS of fighting for my son
I really do appreciate the time and energy this took you to share Aunesty. Prayers for you and your son..
God bless, Suz
Thanks so much for referencing my blog post. I received so many comments that it made people cry because they could relate. It’s so nice to sympathize with each other and lean on each other through blogs and Facebook. Someday we will all get “there”, to that place where we can accept the food allergies and *maybe* relax…just a bit!
Wow, thank you for stopping by Rachel, I really appreciate it! Your blog is wonderful and that post just did me in, LOL. When I read your follow up I agreed with so much, but it also hit me that it is gonna take some time. But it is so nice to have the support of this great community of food allergy families. I have met some wonderful people and learned so much. That to me is invaluable.
Thanks again and God bless, Suz
You’re welcome!
Suz
Suzanne, I feel your pain ,! .I am not there yet!! We’ll come up with some idea for his meds before school starts, and William won’t mind wearing it, okay. Love you Mom
Thanks Mom ♥ I know in the end it will all work out, it just terrifies me right now! Love you guys,
Suz
I can sympathize Suzanne. Although my family is not afflicted with food allergies, my daughter has a physical disability. She will probably always walk with some kind of limp; the number of her future surgeries is unknown. When you are going through your personal crises though it is so easy to wallow in self-pity. During one of our many trips down to Sick Kids, I had a wake-up call. We were waiting (a perpetual syndrome there) in X-ray and saw a young boy waiting as well. We started chatting with the family and learned that the young man was 8 years old. We asked, so that is grade 3 right? He said, yes, he should be in grade 3 but had been fighting leukemia all his life and had never been to school! With tears in my eyes, I thanked God that our sweet princess’ challenges were JUST club foot and hip dysplasia.
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your story Susan. I am very sorry for the struggles that face your daughter, now and in her future. No child, regardless of the severity of the illness, disease or disability, should have to suffer. My heart goes out to her and to you. Pity parties aside, I do thank God every day that my son is alive and not struggling. Our hospital stays have only reinforced that for me. Each and every one sadly. Likewise when my now ten year old spent the majority of her first year and toddler hood back and forth to Sick Kids for her own problems. Every time we faced a hospitalization with her I was reminded that yes indeed, life could be worse. At the same time though, I allowed myself to grieve for the normal childhoods that my children did not have, for whatever the reason. I think that is only fair. As their parent, their mama, if I can not grieve for that special time lost, who can?
Good luck to you and your family Susan and thanks again for sharing with us. I appreciate it ♥ God bless,
Suz
OMG! I read your blog, Suzanne, and then I read every comment and reply! I question whether any of these allergies are one half as hard on the kids as they are on the parents!! A visit to Sick Kids will do one in any time let alone having to make repeated trips. I think you are on the right track re: educating William’s School and finding that unique way that he can keep his puffer and Epi-Pen close. Love and prayers to all of the mothers who commented here and a special prayer that St.T. will intercede for you and William and that he will do well and you can relax….even just a little! xoxo Gem
Thanks for the prayers Gem, they are always appreciated ♥ I think that the kids who have these allergies are in many cases too young to understand what is going on. While this is good for keeping their own panic level down, it also increases the chances of accidents happening. William knows of his allergies, but will still pick something up off the floor and pop it in his mouth if I don’t get to it first ( like a chip or popcorn). He will pick up my drink or his sister’s without a second thought. While I know he is safe at home, how can I protect his from this outside his world at home?
Love you guys, Suz
Every year, we travel to places that have low levels of ingredient quality control. In Mexico, I purchased already popped popcorn and found a whole peanut in it.
My husband is allergic to exotic nuts (not peanuts, walnuts, etc…) and I’m so happy that my kids didn’t get this allergy from him.
I can imagine the fear that you live with regarding your child’s safety and that you can’t be there all the time.
Sorry to hear that he’s constantly omitted from participating in activities that others take for granted. Life isn’t fair sometimes and it’s really unfortunate when it’s a matter of life and death.
Let me know if you want to be featured as part of Journeys of The Zoo’s “I Am Canadian” Feature. I think that my followers would be interested in this and other issues you share. P.S. Thanks for linking up (http://www.journeysofthezoo.com/2012/09/i-am-canadian-feature-linky.html)
Besos, Sarah
Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo
journeysofthezoo at hotmail dot com
Hey Sarah, thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate it. I would probably freak out when traveling to a country I was not familiar with, when it comes to my son’s food, LOL. My husband recently returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic and brought home several of their individual boxes of cereal. There was not one word on there I could read and the website was no help so needless to say my son did not eat those
I would love to be a part of the zoo’s I Am Canadian feature, so cool, thank you!
Suz
We don’t have allergies in our family however there are a lot of allergies at my daughter’s school. In her JK & SK year, there were many children with multiple anaphylactic allergies including nuts, eggs, fish, dairy etc.
We were advised what we could/couldn’t bring into the classroom the week before school started due to the diverse allergies – there were still parents that sent fish etc and those children were immediately removed from the classroom to eat in the office to keep the room as free from allergens as possible and a reminder note sent home.
For birthday parties for my girls, I always ask when parents RSVP of any allergies. If I have to go gluten, egg, dairy, nut etc free then I’m all for it to ensure everyone can enjoy all of the treats at the party. Being courteous and making conscious decisions so all children can be included in the fun is really rather simple.
HI Nancy, thank you so much for you comments. I really appreciate that you took the time to share your thoughts. It is really nice to hear from a parent who willingly makes it easy for kiddos with Food Allergies to partake in the parties and play dates that everyone else does. Now that FA are on the rise we all need to become more aware and more tolerant.
Thanks again Nancy
Suz