The past few weeks have been as predictably busy as they should be. A new school year means not only the start of a new grade, but also the start of extra curricular activities, adjusting to new teachers and how they “do” things, sometimes doctor’s appointments for annual check-ups and even, in my case, renewing my license. Busy, busy, busy… A new school year usually brings with it a lot of complaining about homework, old pals ignoring you for new friends and the “I don’t know what to wear” war cry. 🙁 Three weeks in and I am ready for a vacation. Seriously. But this year I would happily take on even more of those complaints ( okay, maybe not happily, but less unhappily anyway ) then deal with what has been transpiring.
Emily starts Grade 5
William, my four year old son, started full time Junior Kindergarten this fall. Today marks his 11th day of school when you add in the first PD Day already taken. William is taking to school very well, thankfully, although he does still say every few days that he wants to stay home. I am still not an advocate of the full day program, at least for the littlest ones. William is most often exhausted by dinner time, which means he can get grumpy. Add in a hormonal pre-teen and it is no wonder I have started to drink. 😉 There is one other dimension I have to address this year and that is dealing with William’s Food Allergies. I know I have lamented, okay complained, about the potential hazards or accidents that can happen when he is at school all day, but as his mother I feel somewhat entitled to those feelings. That is never going to change.
William starts JK
So despite my misgivings I have given this whole thing a shot. And you know what I am thinking right now? I am thinking: Is it too late to homeschool? I am chuckling a bit as I write, but it is not a laughing matter. Today was the straw the broke the camel’s back. In the eleven days that William has been attending class Doug or I have visited his school at least six times and talked with them on the phone EVERY SINGLE DAY. The reasons vary for each call or drop in, but they all center around one thing: my son’s safety. The first issue happened on his third day when William and another child shared their snacks with each other. I do not blame the kids, for the most part, because they are both only four, both are new to this all day experience and just trying to impress one another. The only reason I am almost certain that William did not eat any of this other snack is not because the teacher stopped it, but because his big sister Emily happened to see it happen. Not recognizing the snack William was about to eat she took it from him and threw it away! I can just imagine the trouble that caused, but I am so grateful she was there.
The next incident happened the following week when I discovered William came home without the waist pack that holds his Epi pen and asthma inhaler. Ironically we were at the doctor’s office when I found out because not only does stress come with back to school time, so does nasty colds and flus. What this means is that for a good thirty minutes William was without his life saving medication. From the moment he left the class until he got into our day care provider’s van, William was vulnerable to every egg, peanut and tree nut contaminate out there. Since our school is not a nut free school ( don’t even get me started..) and William shares the school bus with kids up to 13 years of age, there is no telling what danger he was in. The only saving grace is that he was not aware of it.
Another incident took place the same day. My son takes his own water bottle to school for obvious reasons, yet there he was with his mouth area breaking out into a rash of some kind. I have witnessed hives literally pop out onto William’s skin, face included, more times than I can count, but this rash had a slightly different quality to it. The doctor’s diagnosis? A rash caused by cross contamination on the water fountain in the classroom, most likely eggs. William said he couldn’t find his water bottle and he was thirsty, well, he actually said “firsty”, but I digress. 🙂 I realize that I can not expect the teacher to monitor every single thing William does, but the school are the ones that insisted he would be fine, that they have done this many times before. Then why are my son’s needs, after eleven days of school, being neglected?
Can you bear to listen to more? Later last week William was given candy by another child. I am honestly not certain if he ate any or not. There was a supply teacher in the room for most of the week and it is my opinion that she was not paying that much attention. My husband even saw her come out to lock the gate in the play yard after the bell rang and in her hand she was already carrying William’s waist pack. You know the one with his life saving meds he is to wear ALL THE TIME.
Warrior Mama shirt!
That brings me to this week. William again came home yesterday without his Epi pen and inhaler. At the time of publication, it still has not been located. The school couldn’t find it, nor could the school bus company. The bus people, called STOPR, did confirm that they were totally not aware of William’s allergies and asthma. The school had not shared that information on the student forms with them. Say what?! It is bad enough that William does not have his sister to ride on the bus with him, but now I find out the bus driver isn’t even aware of his medical issues! The funny is the first day William rode the bus I deliberately wore my “Warrior Mama” shirt proclaiming “I am the mother of a child with food allergies.” The bus driver thought that my shirt was great! I felt some relief when she shared that. STOPR told me today that bus driver had to switch routes three days later so we have someone different now. Ya think the parents might have liked to know that information? That homeschooling thing is looking better every second..
FT&PD
Suz
Is it OK for a ‘grand aunt’ to panic too?? OMG! Suzanne, I can well imagine that the school, (meaning the staff), think that they can handle ALL things that are child related…..and your blog today proves them wrong! The school bus driver didn’t know about Williams allergies? Besides gambling with William’s life because his Epi and puffer were not with him on the bus, it was also an abuse of the driver’s ‘need to know’! I can well imagine that the majority of parents who do not have children with allergies feel that it is the child’s responsibility to monitor him or herself, which is understandable……but not when that child is 4 years old! My ‘two cents’? Check it out….home schooling that is…..at least for this year. We can all add to William’s education this year…..there are ways…….and then the stress level will be reduced for everyone, at least for a year. By then, William will be just that bit more mature and better able to handled some of those things himself. I had better stop typing before my ‘comment’ looks like another blog! ((hugs)) Gem 🙂
It has been a pretty eye opening few weeks Gem and makes me so sad. William, for the most part, seems to enjoy school. I don’t think he is as enthusiastic as Emily was, but I think he would be unhappy to not go. It would be so much easier if they were just half days. I could work with that. Thank you always for the love and support 🙂
Suz
Never too late! It made such a difference for my daughter. It enhanced our whole life and even though she is now back in school it was the best thing I ever did for her. She is confident now in asking for what she needs and explaining her medical needs and situation when the need arises. If William were my son I would not feel comfortable sending him to school until the school can prove they can adequately provide for his needs at all times!
Thank you for sharing this with me Koolaid Mom 🙂 I had hoped to avoid this whole issue because of the reassurances from the school and new principal. Looks like we are not out of the woods by any stretch 🙁 Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate it!
Suz
No…never too late to homeschool. In the circumstances you mentioned, it is well warranted.
Thank you for that Lottie. It is such a hard decision to make. Not because of William’s safety, but because of the changes he has already accepted. We have to really think on this one.. Thanks for stopping by!
Suz
All I can say after reading your blog post, Suzanne, is thank goodness our little one goes to a “nut-free” school. I am even more grateful to our school now. They are almost “extreme” with their nut-free policy, but I’d rather have it that way than to have to deal with what you are. I feel for you and the stress you have worrying about William’s safety every day!
Thank you for your support Sandy. It was very distressing to me to see that the school is not nut free. It makes this all so much harder. I have some decisions to make. Thanks for stopping by!
Suz
Wow! Our nieces have life-threatening food allergies and it’s so important for other parents to understand the risks and severity. Our friends’ daughter also has severe allergies and cannot be anywhere that there’s nuts (all nuts), fish, seafood, fresh berries…and those are just a few to begin with. She’s allergic to a lot of things and the school has sent a letter to all parents requesting that for the safety of this child that none of those foods get sent in school lunches.
Thank your Christine. It is horrible to think of children who have any number of allergies, but when the list continues to grow, it is heartbreaking. I hope you niece’s school is enforcing their letter to the fullest extent. I wish my school took it more seriously… Thanks for stopping by.
Suz
Wow! Our nieces have life-threatening food allergies and it’s so important for other parents to understand the risks and severity. Our friends’ daughter also has severe allergies and cannot be anywhere that there’s nuts (all nuts), fish, seafood, fresh berries…and those are just a few to begin with. She’s allergic to a lot of things and the school has sent a letter to all parents requesting that for the safety of this child that none of those foods get sent in school lunches.
Two for the price of one, LOL. Thank you Christine 🙂
As you know my heart goes out to you and the entire family-so thankful for Emily! I have been so blessed by the amazing families in my class that over the years have rallies around my students that have allergies and have made sure that these students have stayed safe! You are fighting to keep your child safe-there is not bigger battle in life! I am here for you!
Thank you Gayle, your support means the world to me <3
Suz
Suz, I read this with horror. I am so sorry the last few weeks have been so bad! I’m really, truly shocked how the school could be so hapless with regard to this issue. Is there any way you can drive William to school and at least get rid of the bus situation? That sounds terrifying too, not even with the allergies, but just having a 4 year old w/13 year olds! I am so sorry you have to deal with this; but it sounds like you have a lot of teaching to do w/your school system. But I don’t know, I’m not sure I’d send my son back there if they did not promise me today, that they are really, truly “on it”. Your son is entitled to a safe environment. Please keep us posted….
Thank you for your concern Robin, I appreciate it. It has been an eye opening few weeks for me that is for sure. My husband is able to drive the kids to school in the morning so that is one small relief, but unfortunately in the afternoon William has to take the bus. I work an hour away and so far can not change that. Our daycare provider has always picked up Emily at the same stop she now picks up William at. The past six months or so I have been battleling with the school board because Emily became ineligible for the bus this year which means William rides alone. It has to do with age and distance and we are literally .2 of a kilometer under the guideline for Emily to be able to ride. I am hoping a courtesy seat will open up for her in October. Our sitter can not pick up William and Emily at the school because she has another special needs child to pick up at the same time, but a different school. This won’t be an issue if Emily gets that seat. I am prepared to fight for the courtesy seat I tell ya 🙂 The whole business is crazy, but I am not backing down!
Suz
How frustrating! I think I would speak to the teacher and the staff and make them well aware of the situation. But homeschooling is an option too. I wish you luck
Thank you Kim 🙂 I think the teacher and principal and a little sick of me right now, but they have seen nothing yet, LOL. I am not letting this go..
Suz
My gosh, I feel for you mama. We’re lucky enough (well, at least so far – DS is only 9 1/2 months) not to have any serious food allergies in this family. Your story illustrates just how challenging it can be to keep a child who does have such allergies safe in non-allergen-free environments. As for deciding to homeschool, while I don’t know this 100% I would imagine you could always make the change if you want to, though hopefully you’ll see some positive changes at your son’s school so that you have a set of viable options to choose from. Good luck!
Thank you Kristy, I appreciate it. We have a lot of researching to do before we make any decisions. I have found out that William does not have to go to school until grade one, so at least we are not hindering him if we keep him out. I am praying that I can get the school to work harder at this and see me as a concerned mama and not the enemy… I am praying your little man does not “get” anything, allergies or otherwise. Hugs for you both and thank you <3
Suz
I have thought of what life would be like home schooling. We all have worries about todays schools there are so many things going on the best thing you can do is keep good communication with the school. I wish I was educated enough to teach my own kids everything they need and not have to rely on public schools.
I agree Alyssa, I wish I felt more confident in my own abilities to be able to teach my kids from home. Homeschooling is a wonderful gift a parent can give their child, but it has to work for everyone. I am going to keep on bugging our school for now, while we work through some decision making 🙁
Suz
I think you need to do what’s best for your children. My kids don’t have food allergies but we have a peanut free school. I am so careful what I send. I couldn’t even imagine having to deal with this especially when the school isn’t supportive.
You are not wrong Dawn. My children’s health and safety are priority numero uno for us. I think I gave our school too much credit before this, but that won’t happen again. I am not letting any of this go and will do what is best for William no matter what!
Suz
This sounds like a scary situation with the school! It’s never too late to homeschool, and we are seriously considering it for our son because of his allergies (and many other reasons). I really hope it gets better soon-there’s no way a parent can deal with that stuff all school year!
Thank you Rachel. It is far worse then I thought it could be and you are right. I can’t let it go on. We have some serious decision making ahead of us. I want William to have normal experiences, but not at the risk of his life 🙁
Suz
Wow, I really feel for you. Sorry you are going through this. I have also been questioning the schools my children attend and have been seriously thinking about homeschooling my children. Hope everything gets better for you.
Thank you so much Caryn, I appreciate your good wishes. It is not easy these days, that’s for sure… Thank you for stopping in!
Suz
Really empathizing with you right now! Being a mother really is the hardest job in the world! I’m sure you’ll get through it! Your post tells me that you really think things through and I’m sure what ever you decide, it’ll be for the best! 😀
Thank you so much Jason, I appreciate the kind words. I fear the struggle has only just begun, but we will persevere and pray for the best outcome..
Yes never late to school. You have posted very informative review.
Thank you Hina, I appreciate that..
Very Informative review about 🙂 🙂 Happy to read this here and very colorful presentation even loved it
Thanks for posting
Thank you Radhika!
It is never too late. I am very sorry to hear all the potential accidents and the actual accidents your son has endured and you as a family suffered the past few days! I have friends who home school and I have some who do not even if their kid has food allergies. But it is hard to find a school and providers who know what they’re doing and are aware and alert all the time.
If you fear your kid’s safety is always at risk, you have do to what is best for him and the whole family. If you can’t educate and get a commitment from the school, then I fully support you if you decide to home school your son. Best of luck Mama! *hugs*
Thank you so much Karen, I really appreciate your kind words and support 🙂
I think home schooling is the real option for you and your child – a 4 year old can’t monitor his/her stuff and they are not meant to at that age
wish you good luck and hopefully your son’s immune system strengthens as well!
Thank you so much, I appreciate the kind words and good wishes 🙂
It’s difficult but eventually he’ll need to learn to develop his social skills by interacting with other kids.
Good point, something to consider..
no, its never too late. we can all learn anytime, anywhere.
Good point Shine, thank you!
It is never late…I loved your write up a lot!
Thank you Lavanya!
There is no “too late” on a dedicated student. 🙂
Good point Joren, thank you!
wow. i feel your frustration here! if you can’t find a school sensitive enough to care for your child, then by all means, homeschool!
So true Yan, it is looking more and more like the best option..
Nice to learn about Homeschooling, but I do think public school is good to train kids social skills.
They both offer something great, but social skills are hugely important.
I don’t think it’s ever too late to do anything that calls our heart. What I’m always advising friends who want to do it is to ask them if they are truly ready to commit and do the work. 😉
That is a great way to approach it ELiz, I agree!