The following post was written by a fellow Allergy Mom, Jennifer Downie-Dilorio in response to the negative comments an article published on GlobalNews.ca received. The article is about the petition a young man has started to have the Canadian Government intervene and have all peanuts and tree nuts banned from flights. Jennifer has graciously given us permission to share it with you. As one who has been advocating for Food Allergy Awareness for several years now, it always saddens me when there is a need to express thoughts like the ones that follow because that means the message is not getting through to everyone. That said I hope you will be driven to act after reading this and sign that petition as well.
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I am not one to put thoughts to paper, but when I read the mean comments from the Global News site on Luke Sullivan’s efforts to have peanuts/nuts banned on planes, I wrote this. I am not speaking on behalf of all allergy parents as I know everyone is different, but I think some of you may have some of the same feelings.
Clubs. There are many to choose from like book clubs, walking clubs and even dance or night clubs and we are all free to join any of these. Most clubs we want to join. Joining the Allergy Mom club was not one I planned or wanted to join. But here I am. Every day I wish my son did not have his peanut allergy. And every day I think what a great kid I have. I think his peanut allergy has given him a sense of compassion and taught him that we are not all the same.
Parents – 99% of us worry about our kids. When you are an “allergy” parent it adds another layer of worry. I don’t say this looking for sympathy; I say this looking for understanding.
My son is now 11 and he has a great head on his shoulders. He wants to do things like go to the store with his friends, attend school field trips and have a play date at a friend’s house. You know what my biggest worry is – what if he has a reaction? Will he give himself the Epi-Pen like we have gone over a million times? Will his friends and their parents remember how to help?
I am entering those years that all parents understand. Our children are going to start making their own decisions and they have to be their own advocates. For us, my son has to be his own advocate for his food allergy because at the end of the day, it is his life. And not everyone understands just how serious his allergy is.
But like many 11 year olds, being “different” is not always easy. He gets embarrassed at restaurants when we go over his allergy too firmly (in his opinion) or I wipe down seats: movies, planes etc. So when a young person is an advocate and speaks up, I give them a standing ovation.
Some may say really nasty things behind our backs like “you’re over reacting”, “this is survival of the fittest” (that one is so mean to me; would you say that to a parent of a child with another illness or special need?) or “why should we bend for just a few.” News flash, I don’t like asking anything from other people either.
But I will tell you this: the mom that bought a peanut free cake for her son’s party so my son could be included brought me to tears. The steward that announced my son’s allergy on a flight from Florida had my gratitude. The family members that double check menus, the restaurants that take his allergy seriously, his teachers that care; the list is endless. To all of this kindness I say thank you. I choose to stay positive.
I always tell my son think of all the things you can do and not the things you can’t. Instead of pointing fingers, let’s work together to help find a cure. May you never carry the worries an allergy parent has to, but I do hope this helps you to understand a little bit more about our club.
Jennifer DiIorio
Mom of an amazing 11 year old
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Thank you for sharing this with us Jennifer; it is greatly appreciated.
FT&PD
Suz
I feel for any parent in that position. Luckly my kids had no allergies to speak of.
That is great to hear Jeena. It is tough one to work around for sure.
My friend’s oldest son is allergic to all nuts (not just peanuts) so I totally understand how this family feels. I don’t see what’s so wrong with eliminating all nuts from flights. There are other things you can eat. And it’s only one meal. How often does one fly that this would bother someone so much?
I totally agree! What is one little flight? My son is allergic to all nuts and the one time we flew with him was extremely nerve wracking for me. The flight crew were great and we had requested a buffer zone, but when my daughter found a wrapper for a peanut bar of some kind, in the seat back in front of her, well, that was it. Not much good came from the complaint I filed, so hopefully this petition changes things.
Thank goodness my kids never had any problems with allergies,i honestly feel for parents that do !!
I totally agree that peanuts could easily be banned from flights, they’re only a tiny snack and something else could replace them easily if need be. Having such allergies in the family is a huge burden for anyone to carry, can’t we all help to share that burden and make life a little bit easier for them?
My girls never had any allergies, but it has to be hard, you need to read all labels, and I understand about going out to eat, you do not want the person next to you to have peanuts, or the diner using peanut oil, so it does have to be hard being the parent to protect your kids from the allergies!!
I never had a problem with allergies until I got renal disease now I am allergic to potassium and phosphates. They are in about everything which leaves me little to eat.
Great job helping raise awareness for children with allergies!
I totally agree that peanuts should be banned from flights,i am sure there are many other snacks available
I had never thought how hard it must be. I have a new grandson & I can’t imagine my daughter having to worry about something as simple as flying home so I can see him. Honestly what’s the big deal? Our school is peanut free & not having peanuts on a flight? Is this even something people will miss? buy peanuts when you get off the plane if you are having peanut withdrawals LOL
Interesting article. Makes you appreciate what parents of kids with allergies or anybody with severe allergies has to deal with.
My younger boy has a friend who is highly allergic to nuts and has been going through desensitization over the last ten years; I have seen the way people have treated him and his family due to his allergy and it breaks my heart. I will admit that I suffer through frustration at times in making concessions so that he is included in everything and finding alternatives around traditions (like at birthdays), but I am thankful every day that I do not have a child for whom I have this extra added layer of worry.
You have brought up some very good points! I think having a support group full of people who understand, relate and show empathy can really come in handy!
I can imagine how hard it must be for anyone living with allergies.
It is a matter of education in terms of food allergy. People should see it and understand that it can cost life. It is all avoidable with proper attention.