“He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone.” John 8:7
Over the past couple of days a post has been circulating on the web about a blogger and media company. The post is basically condemning this person for unprofessional practices and accusing them of stealing. I have been reading the diatribe since yesterday and the more I read the sicker I feel. It should be easy to stop reading, shut off the computer and forget about this for awhile, but it’s not.
I should preface this all by stating I will not provide a link to the post or any of the many conversations popping up on Facebook about this. There are always two sides to every story and in this case only one is being heard. I have no idea who is right and who is wrong in this case, but I am shocked at how quickly the mob mentality has kicked in. People in the blogging world are making detrimental comments about this blogger and her family. Some who have worked with her are making grievous accusations. I am literally witnessing this person’s world fall apart at the seams and it sickens me.
Whatever happened to being innocent until proven guilty? Has history not taught us that it is wrong to assume something so damaging as a person’s culpability? The archives of the world’s newspapers are full of wrongful conviction stories that not only put innocent people away for years, but also destroyed lives in the process. After seeing how easily even casual observers can jump on the bandwagon and start calling for a conviction before a trial has even been set I am taken aback at mankind’s lack of restraint in judging one another.
“Judge not lest thee be judged.” Matthew 7:1
Despite this blog post I feel I am at a loss for words in this situation. A person’s reputation, livelihood and family are stake. Those casting the first stone are also calling into question social media influencers who have worked with this individual before. Is no one safe? To publicly accuse someone of wrongdoing without being accountable for how it might affect the person(s) being accused is akin to hiding behind an impenetrable shield while shooting at an unarmed man. Does that person, that target even stand a chance of survival? What about the fallout to those caught in the aftershock. Is being guilty by association the new norm?
I love social media. I love how it has made the world more accessible, how it has made communication easier and how it has put information at our fingertips. What I don’t love is how it has dehumanized people to the point where they will so easily sell out their fellow human being.
FT&PD
Suz
It’s a great thought. I am one that she screwed over. I came out months ago about what she did to me No one listened. I talked with others she has done the same thing too. They didn’t want to come out, as she threatened them all with law suits.
When I came out, she said I was lying, and had support on her side. Now that support has shifted. Others have finally seen what she is about.
HOnestly I would LOVE to hear her side. I would love to know, why she is entitled to money that isn’t hers. She has all sorts of reasons why she should keep everyone’s money and not pay them.
All she is doing now is saying a lawyer will do it. her contracts are just ones she found on the internet. She has no contract with anyone as she won’t sign them and send them back to anyone.
Sharon I am sorry that you have had a bad experience. No one deserves that and to not have any support from the social media community that you work in would be difficult. That is part of the reason I find it hard to stomach the vitriol being so casually flung about the internet. I can not claim to know if this person is innocent or guilty, but it truly shocked me at how quickly people were to lambaste her and quite literally through her to the wolves. I have a strong feeling it won’t happen, but it would be nice to see a resolution come about that keeps everyone’s lives intact. Thank you for sharing your side of the story Sharon, I appreciate it.
Suzanne, I appreciate your post. As a graduate with a BS and MS in Criminal Justice I applaud your chosen words. You are right, innocence before guilt. But I myself am a victim of this mess. My personal story is here: (link removed to keep this blog impartial). Feel free to read it and ask me any questions. I once again contacted this blogger last night asking for my money, her response was to block me on all social media channels. Innocent? She is far from innocent. She has taken money from people left and right and when they ask for it back she blocks or ignores them. There is not one innocent bone in her body.
Thank you for sharing this with me Erica, I appreciate it. Please know that I removed your link because I really do not want my blog to become involved by naming names and that sort of thing. That said I can not claim to know if this person is innocent or guilty, but I appreciate there are some, yourself included, who have a story to share. That is the great thing about social media is that we can share these stories freely. What shocked me, to the point of feeling sick to my stomach, was how quickly a good many social media influencers and even some readers were to assassinate this person as if it were nothing. This quickly escalated into questioning those who have worked with her. How is that fair? I have no idea how this will end, but I can not see this person having a chance to survive it. As a graduate of Criminal Justice Erica, you must agree that the punishment should fit the crime, once guilt has been proven. Does having one’s livelihood,family and personal life destroyed in the media fit? What about the fallout to those who have worked with her? They do not deserve to be calling into question. I do not see a happy ending for anyone in this case, which is truly a shame. Thanks again for sharing with me Erica.
Well said. Please Read: griffinshoney blog
Thanks Angela! You definitely made some great points in yours 🙂
Angela, what is the point of your post of you are deleting comments that are not to your liking? Might as well remove the comment option all together.
Definitely not cool to delete comments (unless they are racist or vulgar). Even though many do not agree with my opinions I enjoy reading others and learning from them. We all just need to get along. :-0
I have to disagree when you said how social media dehumanized people. Technology advancements were meant to help us, to improve our lives, etc. But it seems like with all these technologies and social networking sites are coming about, everyone else are becoming lawyers, doctors, critics, and so on. It is as if they really have something to say when in fact, they should just be minding their own business.
For me, it’s not technology that’s making this world complicated; it is the people. If only people still live up to their values even after this advancements, there wouldn’t be much chaos in the world wide web.
I agree with much of what you said Louise,but I feel that social media has dehumanized many. People can how hide behind their devices, sneak around, bully people and the consequences are rare because the internet protects you.
I am sorry, but this right here sends out the wrong message
“Does having one’s livelihood,family and personal life destroyed in the media fit?”
What about the people she scammed? What about the victim of her crimes? Are they suppose to sit quietly by and allow this injustice to keep happening over and over again. This did not just happen to larger blogs, but smaller ones as well. She took money from their families, food out of their children’s mouth, and left them high and dry. She is the one that put her personal life and family at risk. Please stop victim shaming and blaming the people that came forward. This how so many good people keep getting taken advantage of. No one wants to come forward because they are vilified.
So then Misty is it okay to assume someone is guilty because someone else states it? That does not make it a fact, but by being tried in the media before the evidence is shown and before this person has the opportunity to defend herself her family and livelihood are being destroyed. If so many others were being destroyed why have they not gone through the proper channels before now? As for anyone coming forward, why is it the world’s business what goes on between two people in a business relationship? There should be no fear of coming forward if things are done properly. If you had a dispute with your neighbor would you let the entire street know first? No, you would handle it between the two of you and the proper authorities.
Victim shaming is far from what my post was about. What shocked me is the mob mentality when something negative is said about one person. Most of the people making negative statements do not purportedly have a relationship with the blogger in question therefore they should not have a hand in this. The shame is on them for adding to the hype and trying this person before the evidence is in.
What you do not understand is that is has been reported through the proper channels. This is bigger than Facebook and a few blog posts. This is not a neighbor dispute. This person was taken was over $6000. I don’t know about you, but that is a lot of money. I have to disagree. When someone is committing theft and fraud using the Internet, scamming people online, it should be made known to that audience. If no one speaks out, then it will keep happening. I am sorry if seeing people getting the word out to others seems to you as a mob mentality. I see it as protecting other people from falling victim to a crime. If we follow your thinking when Google got hacked, then they should have only notified the people it effected, correct? No one should have shared anything online, warning other people.telling victims to keep quiet is wrong, period.
You are absolutely right Misty. A victim should not be quiet. If they have been wronged the channels are there to help them get retribution. And if that is what has now happened then justice will prevail. However, the fallout from this public trial by fire has not only affected the accused and the alledged victims. Innocent bloggers are now being accused of being a party to whatever has happened because they worked with this person. This is coming from bloggers and READERS alike. This is a result of the comments and speculation being shared by those not directly impacted. So now we have a new set of victims. My point in all of this? If you are not involved where is it your ( and by your I am referring to all of us) right to spread any sort of warning?
This has all been swept under the rug for awhile. That’s the problem. Everyone has kept quiet, until now. I did a LOT of research before I brought this to light. A LOT. I have documentation miles long. I have emails, I have screen shots, I have facebook chat logs, and I have files. This has all been reported to the FBI Internet Crimes Division (which I have a screenshot of that I submitted) and the Iowa State Attorney General’s Office (which I also have a screenshot of). So what about my family? She has $6011.45 of MY family’s money, that my husband and I have worked our behinds off for. You say innocent until proven guilty, you’re right. That’s why I have real, evidence. That’s why I have submitted everything to the FBI and Attorney General of Iowa. They can now handle this.
I am NOT the only person she has done this too. There are over a dozen people. Believe me, we did not get together before hand and make this up. I haven’t told anyone to tell their story, they’ve all come out on their very own. I told my side and let everyone form their own opinion.
She was given ample time to respond, but she chose to ignore emails, chats, and even a certified letter. So yes, this was my next outlet, making it public. Maybe some don’t agree, and that’s fine, but this is my family, and MY money. I’m sure you’d feel differently if it was you. If she would just give the money back as she stated back in the beginning, none of this would have happened. It would have stayed swept under the rug.
Anyway, everyone has a right to post what they like, just like you have posted this blog post. That’s why I posted what I did, because I had the right to. I have been VERY careful to ONLY include factual information, which I can back up if needed.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. I have nothing to hide.
Thank you for sharing your story Darci. I do not need to see your screen shots, they are none of my business. You are right that we all have the right to post our thoughts. My issue after reading the huge Facebook thread you initially made public was how quick everyone was to fall in line and point fingers. If a dozen or so people are affected, then why are hundreds of others posting hateful comments and even veiled threats to the accused AND others she may have worked with?! Just like you stated that I might feel differently if I was in your shoes, would you not want the chance to defend yourself using the proper channels if you were being accused of something? Do I sympathize with the hardship your family is going through? Absolutely! Do I know the circumstances around it? Just what I have read in the Facebook thread and subsequent blog post, which are woefully one sided. I shared my thoughts today not because I know who is right and who is wrong. That’s not up to me to determine. I shared my thoughts because it was awful to watch so many people pile on this person when they were not even involved. The chance of having a fair trial was pretty much over at that point. You may not feel she deserves that fair trial (or maybe you do) but in a civilized society that’s what we should all get.
This is nothing personal towards you. It does upset me however when people think that I am “jumping on the bandwagon” to go out of my way to slander someone or post in-truths. Not the case at all. NOTHING stated in that post is hearsay. It is factually correct, information shared BY THE BLOGGERS THEMSELVES WHO HAVE BEEN AFFECTED. Each of these individuals have recorded evidence of everything that they claim. They have documentation, PayPal and credit card receipts, emails, etc. to back up their claims. I have simply provided them a safe environment to publicly speak out about their personal situations. Had they NOT had documentation, their story would not be in that posting. I have publicly stated that I would be more than happy to post her side of the story as well. Instead, she has chosen to block me and have her husband report my post to my hosting service. I’ve removed her name, companies names and identifying photographs as requested; however, after a review of the facts with documentation, my service has deemed the matter resolved. I have done nothing wrong and I won’t apologize for allowing her discretion to be brought out into the open as it should have been years ago.
Kim thank you for sharing your opinion. When I first read your post I was completely taken back to see the large photo of this blogger front and centre, right at the top. Then to read the accusations, with links, names and comments was also a shock. The whole idea of being innocent before proven guilty was completely disregarded with that. As journalists we both know how powerful those statements were. The point of my post is not to show who is lying and who is telling the truth. If the proof is there and valid justice should prevail. However, with all those not involved in this sharing their not-so-kind opinions, and sharing it over and over, it almost doesn’t matter about the evidence. She has been tried and convicted, in the social media. As for the proof you have, that’s great. But how come all of these individuals are not sharing names like the accused’s was? I did see you removed her identifying info now and I think that was wise. If the proper authorities are involved they should be handling it.
This is one of the sad truths in the world we live in, up against a company with a whole team of high-paid lawyers we don’t stand a chance even if we’re on the right side. Whoever has the most money to burn usually wins but not in all cases. I’ve seen a few huge companies get what they deserve. Let’s just pray and hope for the best in this case too.
It will be interesting to see how things pan out Anne…
I don’t think I know this blogger, but there have been issues similar to this even here in our local blogging community. Actually, even in the more general internet community, I feel like social media has brought people together to see other people’s mistakes. It’s nice that wrongdoings that have been swept under the rug get exposed. But I personally feel like netizens (sometimes) react too violently.
I remember a few years back, a video of a female college student arguing with a security personnel in a train station blew up here in the Philippines. Okay, the student deserves some scolding since she was clearly in the wrong. But with social media, people started lambasting her. I believe even her university, family and friends got involved because of association.
It’s sad, really. I’m all for justice. But with the power of the internet, things can easily turn for the worst.
That is super scary! I have seen incidences like this as well and it is terrible how quickly people jump to conclusions and condemn another.
This is why a much, well-crafted Cyberbullying Law should be in place. I also love social media and technology in general. It makes life easier. I even love the idea that I could shop, book a travel, meet friends online! How cool is that? But I would also agree that netizens are sometimes quick to judge and bash and say things and call names without really digging in deep into the real story. THis is also why we need social media education/etiquette. What to and not to.
You are right Raymond, the law needs to be better defined.
I don’t know actually which is the correct way to implement.. innocent until proven guilty or the other way round. but I just hope the law is fair enough for everyone and make sure the guilty one get the punishment and the innocent one remain innocent..
Definitely innocent until proven guilty Kylie..
I also believe that a person is innocent until proven guilty. Ditto with Kylie, I hope the law will be fair to the parties involved and make sure to punish the one at fault.
Time will tell in this case Elizabeth, but I think it is gonna take a very long while..
I haven’t seen or heard about what you are talking about, but I hope everything turns out fine. I feel sorry for both parties and hope they resolve the issue so no lives are damaged further.
I feel for both sides as well Raquel. There will be no winners in this situation.
Using the social media is our responsibilities to influence the good. But, there are certain ways to react and take action for some bad people. Nevertheless, we cannot control people on the internet. We have different feelings and intelligence that we cannot put into our own views. No matter what, it’s within us to understand our actions.
Agreed Fernando, we all have to be responsible for our own actions.
I didn’t know what happen but this has happened a few times in Singapore. While I avoid such online disputes, many used it to boost their fame and popularity
Yes, that is true Tiffany! Sad, but true..
Technology and social media have certainly changed the way we do things. Both have empowered us, which I think is good, but if used for the wrong reasons then it becomes ugly. At the same time, it makes us vulnerable. I too believe in innocent until proven guilty.
Social media is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be controlled. Too many people have become victims because of the lack of proper laws in place.
I have been reading about it as well and when the other party doesn’t have much to say, and when LOTS of people are basically saying the same thing, it’s really hard to see how that person could be innocent.
Valid point Amanda, but I think with social media the louder camp will be heard. At the same time if legal action is pending they are all better off keeping quiet so as to protect the integrity of their cases.
I am a complete outsider here, and although I agree 100% with your blog, Suzanne, I also read the comments of those who have been victimized by this “unprofessional blogger”. Seems to me that the time has come for that person to be called on the carpet. She has some explaining to do…….or is that the whole problem? Being a blogger on the ‘net protects those who would otherwise be a criminal if that behavior were tried elsewhere? Just wondering. Good Luck to all involved. This sounds like an ugly, messy situation.
No Gemma, I don’t think being a blogger will protect her or anyone else. I do think that she should have the opportunity to deal with this with the relative privacy most people would want and have the opportunity to fight for herself. The side affect of social media is that people are so quick to hop on the train and make negative comments and accusations even when they are not involved. This makes it impossible for her to get a fair shake. I have no idea if she is guilty or innocent, so what gives others the right to assume?
I sent my request for a refund in November 2014. We are in May 2015 and all she’s done is block me socially. I was quiet and polite about it for MONTHS! Trying to resolve this via messages and emails to no avail.
Erica, I have no idea how this will all turn out,but I am sure justice will prevail. Have faith!
It’s really sad to know how netizens in general easily react to a post or issue without absorbing all the details first.
Yes Karen, that was my point exactly!
Now that we are in the digital world, it so easy to say things over the internet. Bash anyone . easy to relay the message to anyone in the world
Yup, and it will spread like wildfire..
Social media is very powerful, but it can also be abused. We cannot just name people to shame them publicly. It is so easy with social media, and the effects can be disastrous.
Agreed Fred and I don’t think either party will come out a winner.
To me social media is quite dangerous… Because if we posted anything wrong, we might get in caught and put in jail
It certainly can be Janice..
That’s what’s wrong with social media, a lot of people are going on bandwagon and prejudging situations. It’s really bad that aggrieved parties are harassed without even being proven guilty.
Exactly Franc. We all deserve a chance to prove ourselves and social media really does not allow for that.
I won’t say dehumanized but social media is quite powerful these days with its good or not so good effects. we have to see how beautifully and logically we can use to spread the right message. Before social media also grapevine was the thing which does the same.
I guess there will always be these dangers Pooja, whether in modern day social media or the ways we communicated eons ago. It is our responsibility to use it correctly.
I have no knowledge what is being discussed here. But I know for one being a Pastor that it is not good to accused a person unless you have proof. and if indeed this lady has done wrong, then she is entitled to air her side.
That is point too Papaleng. We don’t need the details because it is not our business. Everyone is entitled to have their say.
SO many things I agree about here especially about social media. It really is quite dehumanizing and it somehow turns people into savages. Such is the very dark side of something that’s otherwise very powerful and beneficial.
It has so many great pros Jason, but the cons are equally so.
Oh yes, I’ve read about her. It’s sad to see such drama unfold online. I hope the real truth comes out and the guilty gets punished after being proven guilty upon proper investigations.
As long as everyone has the chance to have their say then we have to believe that justice will prevail.
I will say that, as a victim of abuse that I kept to myself for a number of years, I can absolutely see how this unfolded. On one hand you have a very powerful blogger whom many starting out turn to for help or desire to strive to reach her level of success one day. So when someone does a deal with her that doesn’t come through — whether you paid her for mentoring, spots on a giveaway, paying for conference tickets, winning a giveaway, bidding on items for an auction for a recently deceased blogger, or partnering up in an actual business with her — because you DON’T know that this has happened to other people, you may tend to keep quiet about it, you don’t want to rock the boat, you feel small against someone with a lot of power. OR maybe, as some have alluded to, you did say something to people….and no one listened or believed you – or maybe saw you as the person in the wrong because the blogger in question was so powerful that there would be just no way (in their minds) that she could do no wrong. Maybe you felt what happened to you was just a glitch, an oversight, just an isolated incident – so you write it off and remain silent. The alleged scammer, in the meantime, may have done this so often and to so many people, that she knows exactly what to say (calling lawyer, let pr people know you’re difficult to work with) and do (block you from groups, social media, etc) to keep the upper hand. When someone finally says that’s it, I’m going to shout what she’s done to me from the rooftops, that could be just what other (alleged) victims need to hear to feel that they actually weren’t alone, and just what they need to feel safe in telling their own stories. For me, I don’t see this as a gang mentality or hopping on any bandwagon, I see it as people coming together who have been (allegedly) taken for a ride by her – and feeling strength and comfort that they are not alone in this and the instinct kicks in to protect others from what happened to them.
I would imagine that because she is such a huge name in blogging, you wouldn’t want to come after her unless you had all of your ducks in a row, all documentation, and proof, because lets face it you could be signing your own blogging death warrant if you get caught lying about this. I also personally feel if it were one or two people, this could absolutely be a case of sour grapes, it seems to happen every day in the blogging world from what I can see, but from comments (all from people who have very specific details and are confident in their paper trail and proof) that there seems to be at least twenty people who have varied stories, but all with an underlying theme of being given the runaround, being threatened, and being cut/blocked from communicating with her. Can you imagine giving $6000+ of your money to someone…..or $250….not getting what you paid for and not seeing your money again – then reading about how the person who last had that money is buying their 3rd new car, going on their umpteenth vacation, or taking their kids here there and everywhere, while you budget for your groceries and try and figure out if you can afford to send your own kid to that sports clinic this summer? Guilty until proven guilty is fine, but when something bad happens to someone and they keep quiet about it by choice or by fear, as we’ve seen, it continues the cycle with others and fuels the power of the (alleged) perpetrator. Speaking out has probably spared dozens of potential future victims or at least made people aware to not go into things strictly on blind faith with anyone, not just her, and to not believe that just because someone seems at the top of the game that they’re going to be looking out for your best interest or that they are always telling the truth.
As an outsider, I really am waiting to see how this all plays out, and despite how this comment may sound, I am not assuming she is guilty, but I also believe that there shouldn’t be a message out there that (alleged) victims of a crime should keep quiet in order to protect an (alleged) criminal. (and this isn’t just a case of taking $5 here and $10 there from people, which would be bad too, but the total amount of money is into the tens of thousands when it’s all totaled up so that’s a big deal). I think its a difficult line to figure out what to share and when to stop talking and let the proper authorities do their job when it comes to wanting or needing to share what happened to you to prevent it from happening to others or to keep from going down that slippery slope of turning into what some could perceive as cyberbullying. I would think that the people she has (allegedly) taken advantage of would NOT want outsiders to spread the word if they have not personally had any (alleged) wrongdoing against them because it seems like it wouldn’t really be helpful to them in the long run.
When all is said and done, I think this can be a wake up call to other bloggers to realize that they need to follow through with things or be held accountable. I’m sure when you reach a certain level of success in blogging, or anything in life, its easy to feel like you are untouchable and if you lack ethics it could be very easy to take advantage of situations and people. As far as feeling bad for any impact this may have on her livelihood, I also feel bad for those who may have been taken advantage of by her, whose livelihood she impacted by not only (allegedly) taking actual money from them, but using her power to (allegedly) tell other bloggers, companies and PR people who “bad eggs” were to work with. This also impacts their livelihood beyond the original money they are (allegedly) out. I believe that if she proves that she has done nothing wrong and that she has followed through on all these dealings with these people, they will be the ones who will end up on the skids because people don’t seem to be very forgiving in the blogging world, but if she is in the wrong, she has made her own bed. If she chose to do those things and take money from others without coming through on what was promised and make no refunds to them, then she has no one to blame but herself and needs to take responsibility, and consequences, of these actions.
Thanks for taking the time to write all of this out for us Simms. I think that, out of everything you have stated here what I would like to speak to the most is your comment “but I also believe that there shouldn’t be a message out there that (alleged) victims of a crime should keep quiet in order to protect an (alleged) criminal.” I have never once said that a victims should keep quiet. What I do think is wrong is the people who are not involved getting all up in arms about something they are only hearing about or reading on Facebook. This mob mentality has everyone forming an opinion before the facts are all in, which really are not their business to begin with. To make matters worse those who are jumping on the bandwagon are starting to question others who have worked with the accused. How is that fair? For a person who has not been involved at all to suddenly have hundreds, if not thousands of readers, followers and bloggers alike pointing fingers at them and saying you are guilty by association? The alleged victims and the accused are not the only ones being affected by this. And whether there is one accuser or a hundred, everyone still deserves a fair trial.
MapleMouse, in promoting GriffinsHoney blog post link, you are saying victims should keep quiet, because in essence, that is what her post is about.
Erica, I stated right in my post that I will not be sharing links and I have not. Thank you,
I agree with you, as long as the accused is not proven guilty no one shall put a remark or called him/her names & etc. To me this is cyber bully, I hope the society can be more civilized and think before they latch their anger on other online.
Yes it really is a form of bullying Kelly.
I have not said one word about this publicly until right now. Your post just really gets me.
If I am understanding this post correctly, you are essentially saying that everyone who she allegedly scammed should have kept quiet and handled this privately until the final judge’s decision, should it have gone that far, correct? {Essentially, their problem with this blogger should have been handled privately}
If that is the case, then shouldn’t you have not said anything until then either? {Thus, your problem with the “mob mentality” people should have been handled privately} Did you contact any person that is a member of this “mob” to handle it privately first? Do you not see that you, also, are a member of the “mob,” just the other side?
Many bloggers claim to have tried to handle their particular situations privately for months or even years. Two days in and you already have a post up calling out the “mob.” I find that just a tad hypocritical.
You also seem to be saying that the bloggers who spoke out about their problems are wrong because others joined in – how is that the original poster’s fault? It’s not. If it’s the people who are jumping in with no issue to be resolved that bother you, then you should ONLY reference them, not the bloggers. However, you are making it sound as if you think the bloggers who made this public started the whole problem to begin with. But that is absurd to think like that.
Remember, when people do something illegal, it’s THEIR actions that bring about the consequences, not those of the victims.
Is it an elderly woman’s fault when some thug beats her and takes her purse? If she spoke out about it and young men offered to find this perpetrator, would you jump in and say, “No, wait. It’s not cool that you want to help. What about the poor thug’s side of the story?” I doubt it.
You sound to me like you have more of a problem with people who are victimized talking about it than you do the actual alleged crimes. Maybe you just don’t like hearing about it. To me, that makes you just what others have called you – a victim shamer.
It’s people like you that cause situations like this. People don’t talk about their problems for fear that someone like you will shame them into submission. But just like the “mob” you so fiercely argue against, you shouldn’t be in this argument either.
You seem so worried about the alleged thief’s livelihood and reputation. Perhaps try having some more compassion for the real victims’ here.
First of all Dawn, thank you for sharing your opinion with us. It’s actually a good thing that my post “got” to you. Perhaps more people will be willing to hear both sides of a story before coming to a conclusion now. To answer some of your remarks let me start by saying I did not say that the alleged victims should keep quiet. Handling something privately, not on Facebook and out on the web is definitely the way a dispute with a business partner should be handled. If handling things privately is not working in your favour then there are next steps to take. Last I checked that does not include calling for a public trial on Facebook though. Why should this dispute, and any of the details, be my business or yours? Unfortunately when you dangle a carrot in a place like Facebook and say something like “I have a big problem that you will all want to read about so stay tuned for the details as I feed them to you” it tends to get attention and in this case it was a lot of attention. That attention came about because an individual aired their concerns with another individual and a ton of people who were not involved at all jumped in to comment and share. Thus the mob was born.
I was alerted to this massive Facebook post by another concerned blogger. I read through every comment and never, not once, did I comment, share or like anything. Not once. I was too busy feeling ill from watching the virtual stoning of the accused. I did not join the mob, for or against anyone. The next post I was alerted to was a blog post from yet another person who was not directly impacted by this situation. That post had no problem sharing the accuseds’ photo, name, links etc. That post welcomed comments that included accusations being laid against bloggers who only worked with the accused (much like the alleged victims worked with this person.) The mob mentality grew with each additional comment.
The reason I felt compelled to create my post was not to join the mob. You may notice I did not ever refer to anyone by name, I did not share links or anything of the sort. Had I done that I would certainly have been adding to the finger pointing already going on. As for having a problem with the mob if I had tried to address them (individually or as a group) I too would have been adding to the problem. I did not want to add to the melee that was already in progress. What I did want to do was point out that by sharing private grievances with the world at large you take away a person’s ability to have a fair trial. This does not qualify as victim shaming nor does it mean I support one side over the other.
My post has obviously hit some nerves and that is a good thing. It would be absurd for me to have a problem with victims sharing their stories, but if that is what you took away from this post then so be it. This is just more evidence that people are being tried and convicted without all the information being in place. Just some food for thought to leave you with Dawn: does the fact that some people say one thing about another not make that person a potential victim too?
Keyboard warriors, we call them.. The veil of secrecy that the internet affords. You’ve made an excellent point – in this digital world it is too easy to join in with words and add to the general noise, and sadly, to “belong” that’s what many does 🙁
Thank you Ling, I did not know there was a name, LOL.
Well this got lots of conversation going! I also hadn’t heard the term keyboard warrior. While I cannot state anything about the case above (not to say I haven’t seen things about the topic/person online!), I am have concerns about how easy it is to post while remaining anonymous. Again, this is not necessarily true for most parties in this specific case.
It is disturbing Jan how one can hide their identity on social media so easily.
I am glad to hear that before posting about the blogger and her actions that people did have the foresight to have proof of their claims. Hopefully this will be sorted out to everyone’s satisfaction.
Yes, hopefully justice will prevail and all sides will get to tell their story.
I’m not commenting on this matter in particular but your thought process about how media in general can change someones life prior to being proven guilty or innocent. I agree with you, media has such a strong effect on someones life, just being accused it can destroy someones life even if they are guilty. In general, I dont even watch the news anymore b/c I know whats on there yes is some facts but also the facts that will elicit the most response and grab attention from the public increasing ratings. I think your right in general i wish the media understood that these were peoples lives and not fictional characters on a tv show. In particular with this matter about the blogger, I have no comment as I have no idea about what has happened, compleatly unaware of the situation but your general thought of how guilty until proven innocent I agree with. We need to remember how powerful media & social media can be.
A victim should not be quiet. A victim should if they are an honest victim get out and tell their story!!
Been reading so many post about this online i hope it all gets sorted out